JOE 2 the movie
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I agree...Destro gets out via his private army intecepting his prison transfer since FF blew up the old one...guy like him has ladies on several continents...a new Baroness arises...
Yep
Why do bad guys always include a self destruct switch in the first place?
This movie was garbage. But at least there was a lot of unintentionally funny parts. Nano-mite Wars? Lol.
This movie was garbage. But at least there was a lot of unintentionally funny parts. Nano-mite Wars? Lol.
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At least we got the warden, who looked like a coked up clubber, explaining how that system so we can theorize that Destro wasn't blown up.
Things I didn't like
1) Snake-Eyes always in the same damn suit. I always liked how in the comics for ceremonial events, he would dress the part, reminding everyone that he is a soldier.
2) How the hell do they make the Zartan-Hardmaster-SS event even more ridiculous and unbelievable than the comic without laughing their asses off.
3) self destruct
4) blind master was just stupid. Should have gone with the soft master.
5) the stupid explanation of what's happened at the beginning.
6) The Nano-Mite Wars?
The nano-mite wars equals the Pursuit of Cobra...all over the globe - arctic, jungle, urban and desert warfare...
I liked the movie a lot...I did, my whole family did. They boys and I have seen it twice already - there was some silly stuff sure...but Joe isn't exactly ZeroDarkThirty or BlackHawk Down...it was a comic...which had some silly stuff as well.
Definitely gives hope to more Joe to me...the nods to other Joeverse's if you will were subtle and fun.
I liked the movie a lot...I did, my whole family did. They boys and I have seen it twice already - there was some silly stuff sure...but Joe isn't exactly ZeroDarkThirty or BlackHawk Down...it was a comic...which had some silly stuff as well.
Definitely gives hope to more Joe to me...the nods to other Joeverse's if you will were subtle and fun.
I probably would have ignored a lot of that stuff but there was a lot of basic film editing issues that it suffers from.
Right?!...it's even a switch that one could accidentally hit...no cover or anything!...right next to the "fire" button..."whoops!...wrong one...oh well, our whole plan just blew up."
And if the missiles are based around gravity, wouldn't ALL the debris from the exploded sats become missiles?
And FF got hit by the truck, HARD!...how were his legs not busted?...how did he not have a concussion?
I assume the tungsten bars broke apart and everything burned up in re-entry.
For FF it can be explained away as nano mites.
I tend to agree with Giga, the tungsten rods were broken up and burnt up with the rest of the debri in the atmosphere.
This.
And all this.
Those things really just bugged me like crazy, but mostly the "basic film editing" issues. Basic story-telling logic, plus continuity slip-ups within a franchise REALLY piss me off. When it's something like "Superman II to Superman Returns" I let it slide a little, simply because 30 years have occurred between the productions, but we're talking what... 3 years here?
One big plot/continuity/logic thing that made no sense was why Zartan needed to torture the President to find out the location of Cobra Commander and Destro.
Zartan replaced the President BEFORE CC was captured. Why would the President even know where the fuck they were held? Wouldn't Zartan simply know that by default of being the goddamn President?!? Couldn't he just go "Hey, I'm the President... I forgot where that location is, can you remind me again?" to anyone in charge of the Joe's missions? I mean he was able to suckerpunch them with a sneak attack and wipe them out. That was just sloppy writing.
What happened to the Flagg? We saw that at the end of the first film. That's a big damned piece of equipment to just not use anymore. Where did ALL the Joes, including their leader Hawk go, from the first film? Did they all get replaced? Retire? Die? Baroness? Not even a mention of her? How did Storm Shadow survive the arctic death scene? ALL of these could've been handled by fucking 5 minutes of dialogue, or even in that intro thing. This isn't me being a nerd, it's me being a movie-watcher and having issues with bad storytelling and plot holes.
All those things are what have me thinking they shoulve just went reboot...
Another simple thing that bugged me...SS was able to recreate SEs costume EXACTLY for his prison capture...how?...how did he do this?...between SSs arctic death and SE getting a new costume for the sequel, and between SS and SE being mortal enemies, how was SS able to PERFECTLY recreate SEs uniform?...and no one thought to remove "SEs" helmet/mask upon capture?
Had the film been longer, they could've done better writing that wouldn't have created so many inconsistencies, glaring plot holes and stupid head scratching moments...
Another simple thing that bugged me...SS was able to recreate SEs costume EXACTLY for his prison capture...how?...how did he do this?...between SSs arctic death and SE getting a new costume for the sequel, and between SS and SE being mortal enemies, how was SS able to PERFECTLY recreate SEs uniform?...and no one thought to remove "SEs" helmet/mask upon capture?
Had the film been longer, they could've done better writing that wouldn't have created so many inconsistencies, glaring plot holes and stupid head scratching moments...
Well, Chu had the problem of following up ROC, which totally painted him into a corner, and despite what efforts he tried to distance himself from it, it was way too little, way too late. On top of that, it was half-reboot, half sequel, and none of that helped to really dig it out of the hole that ROC dug. Hell, at least both "Cobra" (okay, M.A.R.S.) and the Joes seemed to have at least a decent-sized force in ROC. The skeleton crew in this movie was so small and pitiful that it was just a sad effort at still being GI Joe. Renegades had a bigger goddamn team!
I mean, I'm stupid enough to still be hoping for a 3rd movie, because maybe they'll get it right by then? What the fuck is wrong with me?
What we got was a GI Joe version of The A-Team, except GI Joe is like 700 members wide... 20-50 if you're counting a sensible sized "active membership" team. Except the A-Team movie was actually enjoyable! I liked it!
I mean, I'm stupid enough to still be hoping for a 3rd movie, because maybe they'll get it right by then? What the fuck is wrong with me?
What we got was a GI Joe version of The A-Team, except GI Joe is like 700 members wide... 20-50 if you're counting a sensible sized "active membership" team. Except the A-Team movie was actually enjoyable! I liked it!
The biggest thing I liked about this movie is both my children watched this movie intently with wide open eyes, not a question, not a peep, from either. This is a first of any movie. So from my perspective, mission was accomplished by Hasbro, because both my kids have not stopped talking about it. My youngest always liked the toys and plays with them, my oldest not so much, but has been since the movie.
Meh, it's just a different flavor of awful. I haven't been impressed by a single Joe or TF film so far, to be honest... But TF1 is the closest to a semi-accurate, fun version that is crowd pleasing of all 5 Hasbro entries so far.
There are just basic ways of telling stories no matter if it's for adults or kids that will affect any movie in a positive way that this wouldn't just didn't execute on. No scene transitioned well to the next. As much as the actors weren't exactly A-list, their characters were extremely boring and paper thin and their dialogue left no room to actually emote anything to the audience. That little prologue synopsis was kind of uncomfortable and confused the hell out of me.
Lady Jaye actually didn't bother me. I thought she was an ass kicker until they decided to give her daddy issues. Do these writers just spend too much time writing while doing lines of coke with hookers? Why can't we just have a no non sense female Joe? Why is it they always have to make potentially strong female characters have some sort of complex about their dad?
Flint was the biggest disappointment in this movie. He wasn't even in the movie long enough to actually be the hot head parkour abomination that we were bitching about.
And SE. Still not feeling the suit anymore than the RoC suit. His mask is just gigantic. Not that I'm a fan of the ninja SE, but the more I saw of it, the more I realized that his suit is just as constricting as SS's. I think if they gave him black BDUs with the regular Joe armor, he'd look so much more badass. I don't think all of that arm armor is necessary if you never actually get touched in the entire film. I also couldn't stand him being at a military ceremony in his damn ninja outfit. With that glare between him and SS right before that, how bad ass would it have been to have SE in military garb, green beret, and a scarred up face, revealing some his mystery and leaving just a taste of a future battle between him and SS, if they decide to make a third one. They've never even hinted at why he's never shown his face or why he never speaks. Note, I don't like the ninja crap and all of that, but they seem to not take any opportunity to create buzz with the approach they've taken.
The one thing they did right?
Storm Shadow is still a bad guy. You can tell at the end, it's not all forgiven. In the comics, after it was revealed that SS didn't kill the Hardmaster, SE and him became inseparable best buds. In this, you can tell they're taking a more real approach and leaving the rivalry in place.
Nice connection. The writers must have been inspired by this idea and just used the Zeus name instead.
"Pournelle's work in the aerospace industry includes time he worked at Boeing in the late-1950s. While there, he worked on Project Thor, conceiving of "hypervelocity rod bundles," also known as "rods from God."
Co-sign this powerful post, just as G. I. JOE went from
to
to the most successful incarnation of the brand which was/is
each incarnation of the brand was vastly different from the other, in from the original JOE to Action Team the only similarity seems to be the height of the figure; however, it seems with every line succeeding ARAH every line seem to have to tied into to ARAH with is why there's always a C.C., S.E. and Duke in every line.
The point that Hasbro seems to missing is that it isn't C.C., S.E. and Duke that sells figures, it the brand new G.I. JOE and if they can out with some well articulated figures with cool accessories, they should be able to turn a profit. If not, then maybe kids aren't into action figures anymore and Hasbro will have to figure out another business model for the brand, do market research to figure out what the target demo is and just character to that demo is it's feasible.
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I wouldn't be surprised if the brand has to go through a digital enlightenment that doesn't include hand held toys in order to build the brand separate from the current product. Then with enough of an audience, branch out the product line anyway they see fit.
The one thing I noticed in a lot of reviews of Retaliation by people unfamiliar with GI Joe, is they didn't view it like a property like Star Wars or Iron Man. They just kept on acting as though it's like Battleship, a movie based on toys. Not a toyline with a "rich" canon of stories that have developed for over 30 years. Until they reinvent themselves, adapt to the current digital trend to promote their brand, and market themselves as something more than action figures, they will never shake that stigma.
The one thing I noticed in a lot of reviews of Retaliation by people unfamiliar with GI Joe, is they didn't view it like a property like Star Wars or Iron Man. They just kept on acting as though it's like Battleship, a movie based on toys. Not a toyline with a "rich" canon of stories that have developed for over 30 years. Until they reinvent themselves, adapt to the current digital trend to promote their brand, and market themselves as something more than action figures, they will never shake that stigma.
Battleship never should've been greenlit. What a stupid idea, for a movie based off a board game.
Unlike "Pirates of the Caribbean"—which, granted, was a theme park ride—Battleship isn't a classic story that people can get behind like swashbuckling pirates. Also, Depp worked magic as Jack Sparrow, and Battleship was stuck with mediocre actors at best in the leads. Just because you throw aliens into a story, doesn't mean it'll be good.
At least GI Joe and Transformers have multiple canons and 30+ years to pull from, plus they're classic "good versus bad" heroes/villains adventures. There's zero story or anything remotely interesting behind Battleship, and I think that Hasbro watered down their other properties by trying to force a cohesive story from such a terrible idea.
For what it was, Battleship was definitely better than it should've been, but still just shouldn't have even advanced beyond a bad idea that someone shared over drinks, let alone to the point of writing a script.
Unlike "Pirates of the Caribbean"—which, granted, was a theme park ride—Battleship isn't a classic story that people can get behind like swashbuckling pirates. Also, Depp worked magic as Jack Sparrow, and Battleship was stuck with mediocre actors at best in the leads. Just because you throw aliens into a story, doesn't mean it'll be good.
At least GI Joe and Transformers have multiple canons and 30+ years to pull from, plus they're classic "good versus bad" heroes/villains adventures. There's zero story or anything remotely interesting behind Battleship, and I think that Hasbro watered down their other properties by trying to force a cohesive story from such a terrible idea.
For what it was, Battleship was definitely better than it should've been, but still just shouldn't have even advanced beyond a bad idea that someone shared over drinks, let alone to the point of writing a script.
I completely agree. But we're now a niche audience trying to get people to understand that there is a story behind GIJoe the figures just like there's a story behind Star Wars figures. If Hasbro feels this movie doesn't elevate the property then they might have to concentrate on making profitable non exclusive games, books, and TV shows, which I think most agree on.
I'm not going to pretend that Transformers or GI Joe had a strong, fleshed-out story in either cartoon or comic format. I've never read the TF comics, but from what I've read, they sound just as stupid as the cartoon. The Hama comics are moderate at best, and definitely more serious than the cartoon, but they're far from the masterpiece that Joe fans seem to wank themselves to sleep with.
But I was hoping that a movie script could change that. The basics are there though, and if treated properly, could get a really cool story from it. Oscar winner? Fuck no, but I think we could get an "Avengers" or "X-Men" level of franchise success from TMNT, GI Joe, Transformers, and Masters of the Universe.
Do I expect a Dark Knight? Hell no. Not even close. I don't even want something to the level of X2, Spider-Man 2, or Iron Man. Those are my top 4 favorite comic films so far. But we could get something enjoyable out of it. Instead, we get either inexperienced/borderline hack directors (Chu, Sommers), or hack directors who think they're fucking rockstars (Bay) directing the Hasbro films. Not that toy companies should be making films in the first place, but unlike Battleship, there was a comic and cartoon for both TF and GI Joe, chock full of interesting storylines and characters, that they should've been able to squeeze 2-3 movies from that didn't utterly suck.
But I was hoping that a movie script could change that. The basics are there though, and if treated properly, could get a really cool story from it. Oscar winner? Fuck no, but I think we could get an "Avengers" or "X-Men" level of franchise success from TMNT, GI Joe, Transformers, and Masters of the Universe.
Do I expect a Dark Knight? Hell no. Not even close. I don't even want something to the level of X2, Spider-Man 2, or Iron Man. Those are my top 4 favorite comic films so far. But we could get something enjoyable out of it. Instead, we get either inexperienced/borderline hack directors (Chu, Sommers), or hack directors who think they're fucking rockstars (Bay) directing the Hasbro films. Not that toy companies should be making films in the first place, but unlike Battleship, there was a comic and cartoon for both TF and GI Joe, chock full of interesting storylines and characters, that they should've been able to squeeze 2-3 movies from that didn't utterly suck.
I would like to co-sign all your posts MR...BUT, unlike you, I'd LOVE a more realistic approach to Joe...
I want realistic Joes, for the most part, using modern or slightly-advanced tech, fighting a more advanced Cobra. It HAS to have a sci-fi/fantastical element to it, or it's just army men fighting terrorists. I'm even okay with the ninjas, I just don't want to shoehorn in silly ninja storylines like the Hard Master, Blind Master, etc. if it doesn't work with the overall story. No need to go off with Arashikage side-stories like in Retaliation and Resolute.
*EDIT*
Was just over at HT looking at some of the threads, and someone said that RZA was Clayton Bigsby... and after thinking about it, the makeup was totally dead-on Clayton Bigsby.
*EDIT*
Was just over at HT looking at some of the threads, and someone said that RZA was Clayton Bigsby... and after thinking about it, the makeup was totally dead-on Clayton Bigsby.
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Ya know, that was one of the parts I liked as well. Best scene in the movie if not for Rza.
I still would like someone at Hasbro to explain how it's a good idea to make such terrible figures in Waves 1 and 2, and then go ball out with GREAT MOVIE RELEVANT figures in Wave 3.. why not have the figures that are actually representative of the movie, oh I don't know, ON THE SHELVES when the movie comes out?!
Grrr.
Grrr.