G.I.Joe Retaliation

[lancelot]

Time for a nerd rant!

Saw the movie today. It sucked. Firefly had a good actor, and was cool, but as an explosives expert and saboteur, why did he have to fight Road Block hand to hand? Why did they decide to make Zartan the guy who killed the ninja clan master? It makes no sense because that happened when Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow were just kids! Cobra Commander was just a little kid himself back then!

The guy playing Flint is not an actor, he just stood around with a blank expression the whole film. Joe Mazzello is killed off early in the movie even though he is a way better actor than DJ Blank face. Even Channing Taterjaws is a better actor than blank face McGee, and he doesn't come back even though there was so much focus on him in the last movie. Everyone says Adrianna Pole-whatever is hot, but people who say that probably jack off to pictures of the Holocaust. Also her character depth was just boring filler. So boring that she had to be taking her cloths off in order to keep the audience's attention. Unfortunately, because she looks like a starving jew on the brink of death it was a total unboner.

What was the point of killing off all the Joes at the beginning? The whole movie was slow and boring because of it. There was never an epic showdown between GI Joe and Cobra because of this. The main trio basically wonder through the desert, then wonder through streets, and then Bruce Willis tells them unfunny jokes. Then they crashed a presidential party, fucked up like losers, then came back and waited until London was decimated before saving the rest of the world. Good Job team!

Why is Snake Eyes the only GI Joe in the movie that is doing awesome shit? Why is Jinx even in the movie? She has no real introduction or back-story, and for that matter, why the hell is RZA in this?! The parts with him were so bad it was awesome.

The best parts of the movie that were not already revealed on the internet during the delay period are the parts where Zartan talks to Cobra Commander or the real president (or both). Firefly was a fun addition to those scenes as well. I really liked the banter between Zartan and Firefly, that part of the movie had the most character.

Ultimately, this movie was not worth the long wait, and that's sad because for the most part the action figures aren't worth the wait either.

 

[fogger1138]

Lancelot didnt like it. What an absolute shock to everyone on the forum.

Also, as a courtesy to those who care, you might leave out the spoilers.

 

[G.I.*EDDIE]

Why did they decide to make Zartan the guy who killed the ninja clan master? It makes no sense because that happened when Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow were just kids! Cobra Commander was just a little kid himself back then!

I noticed the age discrepancy too...but I guess that the best way of trying to stick with cannon AND fix RoCs F-ups...obviously it would've worked better had RoC not made SE and SS kids when HM was killed...

...why the hell is RZA in this?! The parts with him were so bad it was awesome.

Lol, what a great way to put it...

 

[G.I.*EDDIE]

Anyone else cream themselves over Jinx?...that actress is HAWT/cute

 

[Monkeywrench]

Anyone else cream themselves over Jinx?...that actress is HAWT/cute

roposetoast:

 

[lancelot]

Lancelot didnt like it. What an absolute shock to everyone on the forum.

You say that like I'm K-Tiger or something.

 

[NSA]

Lancelot didnt like it. What an absolute shock to everyone on the forum.

WIN!!

Haha.. but seriously you are pretty hard negative on.. everything, Lance.

 

[NSA]

RZA was terrible, just terrible. Thankfully his parts were very small.

DJ whatever as Flint was not very good either, but again, his parts were pretty small.

I loved the Zartan dialog throughout the movie.. it was so borderline cheeseball, but it just felt right for GI JOE. I was really liking Tatum as well, and was kinda sad he had to go.

I liked it, it was paced pretty good, I was entertained, I left the theater feeling way better about the franchise than I did about RoC.

One thing.. like ALL of the figures from Wave 3 or whatever are.. ACTUALLY IN THE DAMN MOVIE! The Ultimate Duke was Duke from the beginning, the Cobra "Ninja" Soldier is the soldiers from the end.. what the hell? Wouldn't it behoove them to have THOSE figures on pegs when the movies hit? So kids can leave the theater and buy what they just saw?! Sheesh.

 

[NSA]

Everyone says Adrianna Pole-whatever is hot, but people who say that probably jack off to pictures of the Holocaust. Also her character depth was just boring filler. So boring that she had to be taking her cloths off in order to keep the audience's attention. Unfortunately, because she looks like a starving jew on the brink of death it was a total unboner.

Achtung! Your swastika is showing!

 

[G.I.*EDDIE]

The president was in the film more than half of the characters that are actually getting toys for...why we couldn't get him is weird..

and Baroness...she was another one that never got a word said about her...

 

[NSA]

Meh don't mind her just going away. The less said about RoC-anything the better I think. It's been 3 years. They don't need to give us little facebook updates about everything that happened since RoC in the movie world!

I would like a President figure.. bet they think it wouldn't sell.. I think it's be great! With a Zartan face and a president face.. and maybe a Hard Master face?

 

[G.I.*EDDIE]

It'd be the hottest figure in the movie line...what "they" think would sell and what does sell are two different things...bet "they" thought ninjas would sell, and there's ALWAYS more of them left on the pegs than any other character...bet "they" thought IM/Spidy/Thor/insert main character here would sell more than the villains...guess who's still on the pegs?...

 

[NSA]

Yeah.. we need to run the toy companies!

A President would make a good SDCC exclusive..

I just don't get the quality change from Wave 1/2 to the badass Wave 3.. with actually movie content represented.. why not start with your good product and leave the shitty stuff for later wave fillers?

 

[G.I.*EDDIE]

Just remembered something...

Did anyone else represent!...by that I mean wear there fighting 1:18th clothing?...I wore my t-shirt

 

[K-Tiger]

At this point they'd just use the the Destro buck again. I thank my lucky stars that Professor X happened. I reckon that's the only suited buck we get at retail from Hasbro.


And on the topic, take Destro in RoC. Suit the whole time. What did we get for a figure? Winter coat and jodhpurs. Don't get me wrong, I found ample uses for that figure's parts, but he was a main villain and couldn't get an accurate figure at retail because he was a dude in a suit. You think president Zartan is gonna get any burn on that stove?


SDCC set AT BEST.

 

[fogger1138]

You say that like I'm K-Tiger or something.

I've actually seen K-tiger like things, though.

 

[K-Tiger]

I sho' like Rockblock man-handling that M2/M3/GAU-21/Mwhateverthehellitwassupposedtobe, and I normally hate that whole ARAH trope.

 

[darthdre758]

There was an article that said they had to strip down the gun a lot even for Dwayne before he could hold it long enough to fire it any.

 

[K-Tiger]

Standard weight on those is over 80 pounds. Anyone thinking it, plus enough ammo for it to actually be useful, could be humped, much less fired, by a single man, even one as in-shape as Dwayne Johnson, is dreaming.

Still gonna get multiples of that figure. Probably cut down the receiver on one and do a quasi-Stinger.

 

[lancelot]

It probably didn't help that there were some rednecks in the theater who talked shit to me and my father before the movie even began. So I was generally in a shitty mood all day yesterday. I want to start carrying a knife everywhere I go now, because I'm getting to the point of my life where I'm no longer able to control myself and I genuinely want to make other people bleed for even the most minor and trivial offences. I'm sick of putting up with other peoples bullshit.

 

[G.I.*EDDIE]

So some jail time is in your future?

 

[lancelot]

Probably. Although if that's what it would come down to I'd rather by an assault rifle.

 

[Mandingo Rex]

I actually agree with lancelot's TrollTalkâ„¢ review. I already posted my comments in the other Joe 2 thread (Really, a second one, MW? I thought xhairs made it at first! ) but I guess I'll hop on board for the discussion here.

 

[Gungho-joe]

just got home from seeing Retaliation. I took my 2 boys and I must say that I loved the movie. I am not a huge fan of ROC but I did like how they linked history to it and did it in a way that was kinda cool. I did squirm at the Order 66 scenes ( I am a child of the 80's cartoon where everyone jumped out of the way) and it pissed my 8 year old when Duke had his moment. I enjoyed it and I hope they follow this one up with movie 3, the end leaves it open pretty well. I was disappointed in the scenes they deleted. Overall I liked Retaliation and would give it 3.5 out of 5. The theater was packed for the 3D and 2D showings. We saw the 2D but I peaked in the 3D and there was a whole lot of people. Retaliation even kept my 3 year old daughters attention. She cracked everyone up after the movie by singing the old cartoon song. What can I say???? I am trying to raise her the best way I can.

 

[fogger1138]

It probably didn't help that there were some rednecks in the theater who talked shit to me and my father before the movie even began. So I was generally in a shitty mood all day yesterday. I want to start carrying a knife everywhere I go now, because I'm getting to the point of my life where I'm no longer able to control myself and I genuinely want to make other people bleed for even the most minor and trivial offences. I'm sick of putting up with other peoples bullshit.

... this isn't really helping you not be known as Angry Man of the Forum, you know.

 

[lancelot]

I'm not trying to avoid being known for being angry because usually I am angry!!@#%%^*)_(*^&@!@$#%^*$)^&$*)+@!@^(!_!@*$&@#*$&!*$&@#*$&!#@%*&*$%&!$*&!*$&!$&!%*@#$&%!*$&*$&!$*$&#*$&!*$&!@*$&!*$&#*$&#*@$&!&$$&*@#*&%#*$&#*&*#$&*&$*$&@*$&!*&$!*$&

 

[NSA]

The theater was pretty packed where I saw it too, I was actually kind of surprised. People seemed to enjoy it too.. there was actually a little bit of clapping during some scenes too haha.

As I said before, I left feeling entertained, so I'm perfectly content with the movie.

 

[Fred Broca]

It is 9 million times better than RoC. It truly does feel like a G.I.Joe Movie....but they really did get the feel of Joe.

The movie as a whole, pretty dang good....a bazillion times better than RoC...

Wasn't it suppose to be?

Everyone says Adrianna Pole-whatever is hot, but people who say that probably jack off to pictures of the Holocaust.

@bolded.

Lancelot didnt like it. What an absolute shock to everyone on the forum.

Also, as a courtesy to those who care, you might leave out the spoilers.

I said this on "The Tank," We're not film critics or students. We're not going to come on here and talk about the movie's acting or technical aspects, we're going to talk about a movie's plotlines, it's pluses and it's flaws. If people don't film going experience to utterly destroyed by knowing the certain aspects to a movie, then maybe they should avoid threads on message boards where the film is being discussed.

 

[NSA]

I think there is definitely room for people who are casual viewers and for people who are self espoused film critics etc.

I think it gets a little rididiculous when people start telling other people how THEY should have enjoyed the movie. I fully get the reasons why some people didn't like it, or thought it could have been better.. but that doesn't mean *I* can't have enjoyed it on my own etc.

Typical people trying to push their way of thinking on others, and I don't think that generally happens here, but in reality everyone is trying to do it to everyone else on a continual basis somewhat.

 

[Meddatron]

I agree NSA. Some of the things some people didn't like. I liked. I see why they didn't, but also see why I did. Everyone to their own. I saw this in the theaters twice now, 2D and 3D. Enjoyed it both times and I will buy the BR Disc. So this movie already has gotten more cash from me than all of ROC did including its toys. lol.

 

[Giga Bread]

I think there is definitely room for people who are casual viewers and for people who are self espoused film critics etc.

I think it gets a little rididiculous when people start telling other people how THEY should have enjoyed the movie. I fully get the reasons why some people didn't like it, or thought it could have been better.. but that doesn't mean *I* can't have enjoyed it on my own etc.

Typical people trying to push their way of thinking on others, and I don't think that generally happens here, but in reality everyone is trying to do it to everyone else on a continual basis somewhat.

I'm not going to do that. I'll state how I felt about it and try to describe why in a clear way, not to change your opinion or ruin it for you, but to show I'm not just trying to be a combative contrarion. In truth, I want to see them try for a third movie and potentially get it right. That won't happen if all they see are opinions similar to mine.

 

[fogger1138]

I'm not trying to avoid being known for being angry because usually I am angry!!@#%%^*)_(*^&@!@$#%^*$)^&$*)+@!@^(!_!@*$&@#*$&!*$&@#*$&!#@%*&*$%&!$*&!*$&!$&!%*@#$&%!*$&*$&!$*$&#*$&!*$&!@*$&!*$&#*$&#*@$&!&$$&*@#*&%#*$&#*&*#$&*&$*$&@*$&!*&$!*$&

I said this on "The Tank," We're not film critics or students. We're not going to come on here and talk about the movie's acting or technical aspects, we're going to talk about a movie's plotlines, it's pluses and it's flaws. If people don't film going experience to utterly destroyed by knowing the certain aspects to a movie, then maybe they should avoid threads on message boards where the film is being discussed.

This was a thread to discuss who was going to go see it, was it not? It doesn't seem like such an inconvenience to at least mark spoilers when opening weekend isn't even over yet.

 

[Fred Broca]

This was a thread to discuss who was going to go see it, was it not? It doesn't seem like such an inconvenience to at least mark spoilers when opening weekend isn't even over yet.

I haven't see it and I from everything I've read, I basically know movie. Guess what it isn't going to enhance or take away from the film going experience any less. It's like saying that Episode V is less enjoyable because you know that Lord Vader is Luke's father, and it an inconvenience when all said people have to do is avoid discussions about the movie. Spoiler alerts are gay. Hella gay.

 

[Giga Bread]

Via Twitter

"@Variety_Stewart: Yo Joe! After a $132 mil opening for G.I. JOE: RETALIATION, Paramount said it will move forward with a third JOE.â€￾

 

[Mandingo Rex]

Doesn't seem to be the case for anything besides LOTR, but maybe #3 will be the best?

 

[K-Tiger]

Could be like The Last Crusade, or we could have one of these:

http://www.millionaireplayboy.com/m...l-seven-worst-third-films-in-a-movie-trilogy/

 

[Giga Bread]

Since it's a partial reboot, I'm going to convince myself this is our "Empire Strikes Back"

 

[Mandingo Rex]

Could be like The Last Crusade, or we could have one of these:

http://www.millionaireplayboy.com/m...l-seven-worst-third-films-in-a-movie-trilogy/

They left off Pirates 3, Matrix 3, and TDKR from that list.

 

[NSA]

I liked Pirates 3 and TDKR.. Matrix 3 was shit though.

Well good for them, this had a more realistic tone than RoC which I liked, better acting I guess, at least more likable actor in The Rock.. Flint was useless, I enjoyed looking at Lady Jaye.

I hope this gives Chu or whomever the clout to run with their ideas and go off in their own direction and completely forget RoC ever happened.

 

[Fled74]

I haven't see it and I from everything I've read, I basically know movie. Guess what it isn't going to enhance or take away from the film going experience any less. It's like saying that Episode V is less enjoyable because you know that Lord Vader is Luke's father, and it an inconvenience when all said people have to do is avoid discussions about the movie. Spoiler alerts are gay. Hella gay.

I think what Fogger meant is that there is already another dedicated thread for Retaliation reviews/comments elsewhere, and this thread was meant to be spoiler-free.

Same reason for our two Walking Dead threads.